Why Your Resolution Didn’t Fail: It Just Needs a Rethink
If you’ve already let go of your New Year’s resolution, you’re not alone.
There’s actually a name for the date in January, this year January 10th, when most people abandon their goals: National Quitters Day. And while it often comes with a heavy dose of self-criticism, “What’s wrong with me?”, I’d like to offer a different perspective.
What if quitting isn’t a personal failure?
What if it’s feedback?
National Quitters Day can be a powerful time to pause and look at how we’re approaching change, especially when it comes to food, weight, movement, and health.
Why Meaning Matters More Than Motivation
One of the biggest reasons resolutions, and goals in general, fail is that they aren’t tied to anything meaningful.
I often hear people say things like, “I just want to lose weight so I can feel better.” And while that makes sense, it’s usually not enough to sustain change when life gets busy, stressful, or exhausting (which it always does).
Now compare that with someone who says:
“I want to make healthier food choices and move my body more so I can participate in family activities instead of watching from the sidelines.”
That’s different.
That goal is connected to real life, to values like family, connection, freedom, and fully showing up.
We don’t change because we should. We change because something matters.
When your goal is emotionally meaningful, it has staying power, even on the days when motivation is nowhere to be found.
Why Process Beats Outcomes Every Time
Another common trap that many people fall into when it comes to goal setting is focusing almost entirely on outcomes:
A number on the scale
A certain clothing size
A deadline for weight loss
Here’s the problem: outcome goals don’t give you much to work with on a daily basis.
You can eat well, move your body, and do everything “right” for weeks and the scale may barely budge. When effort doesn’t seem to pay off quickly, people get discouraged and quit. Let’s face it…. We all want instant gratification.
Process goals shift the focus to what you actually do:
Eating regular, balanced meals
Planning ahead for evenings when you’re most vulnerable to snacking
Moving your body in ways that feel supportive and fun, not punishing or payback for overeating or eating something “bad”
Noticing patterns around stress or emotional eating
Process goals give you daily wins. They keep you engaged. And when you stay engaged with the process, outcomes tend to follow and they tend to be more sustainable. .
Many resolutions don’t survive National Quitters Day because the outcome was clear, but the process was never defined.
The Game-Changer: An Attitude of Practice
This may be the most important mindset shift of all.
Most people approach health goals with a success-or-failure mentality. One “off” day turns into:
“I blew it.”
“I’m off track.”
“I might as well start over… later.”
That mindset makes quitting almost inevitable.
Instead, I encourage clients to adopt an attitude of practice.
Practice has no expectation of outcome. You don’t pass or fail at practice.
The purpose of practice is to:
Try something
Notice what happens
Make small adjustments
Repeat
That’s it.
Practice assumes that we won’t be perfect. It expects that we’ll likely take “one step forward, two steps back”. And it builds skill over time.
This is how athletes train. It’s how musicians improve. And it’s how people actually change long-term eating and movement behaviors.
When health becomes a practice instead of a test, setbacks stop meaning “I failed” and start meaning “I learned something.”
You don’t quit a practice, you return to it over and over again.
A Different Way to Look at National Quitters Day
Instead of seeing National Quitters Day as proof that you can’t stick with goals, I suggest looking at it as a time to check-in.
It’s a chance to ask:
Was this goal truly meaningful to me?
Was I focused more on outcomes than on daily actions?
Was I treating change like a pass/fail test instead of a skill I’m learning?
Quitting usually isn’t about a lack of discipline or willpower.
It’s about using an approach that doesn’t match how humans actually change.
And that’s good news because that means we can redesign our approach.
Three Questions to Take with You
If your resolution didn’t make it past National Quitters Day, I invite you to reflect on these three questions:
What do I want this change to allow me to do or experience in my life?
(Not just how I want to look, but how I want to live.)What is one small, repeatable behavior I’m willing to practice, imperfectly, this week?
(Something within my control, even on hard days.)If this were a practice instead of a test, how would I respond when things don’t go as planned?
(With curiosity instead of criticism.)
National Quitters Day doesn’t have to be the end of your resolution.
It can be the moment you stop trying to be perfect and choose to start practicing your way toward a healthier, more peaceful relationship with food, your body, and your life.
If you’d like some help redesigning your goal, reach out to me. I’d be happy to help guide you through the process of digging deeper to find the meaning behind your goal so you can achieve the outcome you’re really after.
