Is Being Too Strict Undermining Your Progress?
When people struggle to maintain changes around food and weight, the problem is rarely a lack of knowledge or discipline.
Most people I work with know what to do. They understand balanced meals, portion sizes, and the basics of nutrition. They’ve tried calorie counting, cutting out sugar, eliminating carbs, or following rigid plans that promise results if they just “stick to it.”
In earlier posts, I’ve written about why rigid food rules, like cutting out dessert entirely, tend to backfire, and why treating health goals as a practice rather than a test creates more sustainable change.
Both of these ideas point to the same pattern:
Strictness often creates the very struggle people are trying to escape.
So, let’s talk about how this happens and what to do instead.
Why Strict Rules Feel So Appealing
Strict plans are seductive for a reason.
They offer clarity.
They reduce decision-making.
They give the illusion of control.
Rules like “I can’t eat sugar,” “I have to stay under X calories,” or “I’m not allowed to eat after 7pm” can feel reassuring, especially if food feels chaotic or out of control.
At first, strictness often works. People feel motivated. Proud. Disciplined. They may even see quick results, which reinforces the belief that being more rigid is the answer.
But here’s the problem: strict rules don’t leave much room for real life.
Life Is Inherently Unpredictable
Stressful days happen.
Social events pop up.
Energy levels fluctuate.
Emotions catch us off guard.
When a plan only works under “perfect” conditions, it’s fragile.
Eventually, something breaks the rule. Maybe it’s a piece of cake at work for a coworker’s birthday. A late dinner of takeout because our kids had a game. A stressful workday that leads to mindless snacking at night.
And instead of adjusting, most people interpret this moment as failure.
“I blew it.”
“I’m off track.”
“I might as well start over tomorrow… or Monday… or next month…or maybe I’ll just forget it all together.
This is where strictness quietly turns into all-or-nothing thinking and that’s what derails us.
Strictness Fuels the Cycle of Control and Rebellion
The more rigid the rules, the stronger the rebound tends to be.
When foods are labeled as “bad” or “off-limits” or “forbidden”, eating them doesn’t feel neutral. It feels loaded with guilt, shame, and urgency. So instead of enjoying the food and moving on, people often eat past comfort, mentally check out, or spiral into self-criticism.
Then comes the attempt to “get back on track” by tightening the rules again.
More restriction.
More discipline.
More promises to “be good.”
And the cycle repeats.
This isn’t a willpower issue. It’s a predictable response to restriction.
The Hidden Cost of Being Too Strict
Even when strict plans don’t completely derail, they often come with costs that aren’t immediately obvious:
Constant mental effort around food
Feeling tense or deprived
Anxiety about “messing up”
A fragile sense of success that disappears after one imperfect day
Progress becomes exhausting instead of exciting and energizing.
And for many people, this leads to burnout, quitting, or the belief that they’re simply never going to be successful long term.
What Actually Supports Sustainable Progress
The alternative to strictness isn’t chaos or “letting go of all structure.” It’s flexibility with intention.
Sustainable change looks like:
Having structure and room to adapt
Making choices that support your goals without needing perfection
Responding to missteps with curiosity instead of criticism
Staying engaged even when things don’t go as planned
This is where the idea of practice becomes so powerful.
When health is a practice, there’s no pass or fail. There’s only noticing, adjusting, and continuing.
You don’t quit a practice because it wasn’t perfect. You return to it…over and over again until you figure out what works.
What to Do Instead of Being So Strict
If you recognize yourself in this pattern, here are a few shifts to consider:
Loosen rules; clarify intentions.
Instead of “I can’t eat dessert,” try “I choose when and how dessert fits into my life.”
Plan for imperfection.
Expect busy days, emotional moments, and unexpected situations. Build flexibility into your plan from the start.
Measure success by engagement, not outcomes.
Ask: Did I do my best today to move toward my goal? Did I use my values to guide me? What did I learn? What might I do differently next time I’m in this situation?
Practice responding kindly when things go sideways.
Progress isn’t about avoiding mistakes, it’s about how you respond to them.
The Bottom Line
If you feel stuck, defeated, or like you’re constantly starting over, it may not be because you’re not strict enough.
It may be because strictness is working against you.
Health doesn’t require perfection. It requires participation, flexibility, and a willingness to practice repeatedly.
And when you stop treating change like a test you can fail, you create space for progress that lasts.
If you’re ready to step out of the cycle of restriction and reset your approach in a way that works with your real life, I’d love to help.
This is exactly the work I do with my clients. Together we build sustainable, flexible strategies that support both physical health and peace of mind. No more rigid rules, no more “dieting”, no more feeling guilty or ashamed for “falling off track”. Just real life strategies that allow you to enjoy food and maintain the level of health and well-being you want and deserve.
Reach out when you’re ready to start practicing instead of punishing yourself.
